Is this really for you?
An honest word before you write. It saves us both time.
It suits you if
- You are confident and outgoing, and you enjoy being watched.
- Nobody can take your job, your clearance or your licence away because of it, now or later.
- The people who matter to you would laugh, not leave.
- You are happy to be yourself, with your real face and your real name on the paperwork.
Think again if
- You want to stay anonymous. You can't: the paperwork sees to that.
- Your career, now or in ten years, depends on nobody ever finding out.
- You would be writing to us from a blank profile you made this morning.
- You are hoping to be talked into it. We won't.
We would never have done this while one of us was a corporate banker or the CFO of a London law firm. We waited until we had retired. Timing is everything.
Three ways onto the air
You don't need to live in Hawaiʻi, own a studio or know anything about video.
Send us your film
Already filmed yourselves, or about to? Send it in. We cut it into one of our channel broadcasts, alongside our own films and other couples', with the station, the newsreader and the ticker added on top.
Offer us your film →Film with us, from home
You film your side at home, and we film ours in Honolulu. Then we put the two together, so it looks as if we were all in the same room. All you need is a phone and some painter's tape.
Ask us how →Come and film in Honolulu
Visiting Oʻahu, or lucky enough to live here? Film with us in person. Our production company, Camera Hawaiʻi, takes care of everything from the first question onwards.
Start with Camera Hawaiʻi →What everyone needs
The dull part, and the part we never skip. Nothing goes on air until we have it.
- Everyone on camera is 21 or older. That is our rule, stricter than the law’s 18. No exceptions, no "nearly".
- Everyone on camera signs our performer release. You can read it first, at your own pace: camera-hawaii.com/release.
- A photo of each person holding their ID and the signed release, face clearly visible.
- Close-ups of the front and back of each ID (passport, driving licence or national ID card), plus a document showing your name and address.
Send these by email to [email protected], never through a video upload. They are kept privately, as the law requires, and are never published. Our broadcasts go out on xHamster and FapHouse, which check every performer's identity too.
Filming at home
Six things that make the difference. That's all.
- Wide, not tallTurn the phone sideways. Upright video looks lost on a TV screen.
- Highest quality1080p at 60 frames a second, or 4K. Check your camera settings before you start.
- Plenty of lightDaylight or every lamp in the room. Phones turn dim rooms into mush.
- Keep it steadyTape the phone to the ceiling pointing straight down, or use a tripod.
- Clap onceAt the start, where the phone can hear it. It helps us line everything up.
- Then forget the cameraThe best films are the ones where you stop performing for it.
Questions people ask
Do I get paid?
Yes, you share in what the film earns. We publish it on xHamster and FapHouse, where it earns from pay-per-view and later from advertising, and we split that income fairly between everyone in it. If it is the two of you and the two of us, that is 50/50. We agree the split with you in writing before anything is uploaded, and you get a credit under the name you choose and a copy of the finished broadcast to keep.
Where will my film be shown?
In our channel broadcasts, which we publish on xHamster and FapHouse, with a trailer here on HMDP Television. Before anything is published, you will know which broadcast you are in.
Can I hide my face?
You can ask, and in the edit we can keep your face out of the shot. But you still have to send us an ID and a photo with your face showing, because the platforms check every performer against their ID. A mask doesn't protect you anyway: the people most likely to recognise you already know your body, your voice and your tattoos.
Can I change my mind?
Yes, any time before your film is published. Just tell us and we take it out. After publication we can remove it from our own channels, but we can't undo copies other people may have made. That's why we would rather you were completely sure before you sign anything.
I'm in the military. Can I take part?
Yes, but read this first. The rules are different for you, and we would rather you heard it from us than from your command.
Is HMDP Television a real TV station?
No, and neither are its newsreaders, its governments or its weather. The couples are real, though, and so is the sex.
Ready for your close-up?
Tell us a little about yourselves and which of the three ways appeals. We reply to everyone, usually within a day or two.